The Octopus We Call “Family”

Something amusing before something serious…me being silly…



Doctor Mc.Feely


Here comes a more serious post…this after I got such a nice compliment about how I’m not all emo about life and work yesterday.  Sorry!


Life has become a little more complicated than I would like it to be.  Full moon is on the way.  The days are getting shorter.  I feel like I’m in a constant state of change lately.  And if you know me at all, you know how much I hate change.

Family is the main issue lately.  My Baby Brother is back to live with his Dad and Step Mother.  I’ve heard some stories about how they treat him, and I’m wondering if perhaps they are exaggerated.  I can’t say for sure, since Baby Brother’s father (my former Step Father) was a rather heavy handed.  There are other issues there.  I thought I hated him, but I don’t think I do.  My anger I think is directed more at our shared mother.  Talking with J (Baby Brother’s step-mom), I think maybe he’s better off living with them.  His life has structure, balance, and I do think they love him.

I shudder to think what this is doing to Mom.  We don’t get along at all.  In fact, not too long ago I told her exactly how I felt about her and summed it all up with a big EFF YOU at the end.  Apparently, I made her cry.  I didn’t mean to, that wasn’t the point.  I feel guilty that I swore at her, I mean, she is my mother and deserves my respect in that sense.  I’m not sorry about the rest of it though.

Both of BB’s parents are upset with my Sister.  I can see why, they feel between Mom and Sister that the two of them fueled the problem.  I pointed out to J that Sister tends to act on emotion, not always on logic.  She means the best, and was worried about our brother.

I’d like the see BB get back on track with school, make something of himself and pick himself up by the bootstraps.  If there’s one thing I’ve learned in this life it’s this:

Keep soldiering on no matter how heavy the world seems on your shoulders.  If you lay down, you’re going to give up.  If you can’t shoulder it all yourself (and no one says you have to) share the load.


I think I may have agreed to lunch on the 8th (day before I turn 25) with them.  J thinks it would be good for Baby Brother to see a member of the family that went through hard times and made it out on top.  She said to me, this morning,

You girls had it hard…and you especially have pulled through you should be very proud of yourself


I’m not sure exactly why I had it harder or what gives her that impression.  Then again, I was old enough to remember a lot of things that went on when my parents split up.

The family – that dear octopus from whose tentacles we never quite escape, nor, in our inmost hearts, ever quite wish to.  -Dodie Smith


Anyway…drama, drama, drama.


In other news…I’m pretty sure I’m due to do something stupid.  The question is…stupid stupid, or fun stupid?  I can feel it though.  It’s almost tangible.


Okay…moving on from that…time to get fit.  I’ve decided no matter what is going on with my career choices I need to buff up.  Pump some iron, do sit ups, go for walks, etc.  Eat more veggies.

Also, I’d like to learn to cook more things but I’m not sure where to start with that.





1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Daniel Feller
    May 04, 2010 @ 18:15:42

    Wow! what an idea ! What a concept ! Beautiful .. Awesome …


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