Terrible Tuesday

Yesterday, I was late with the blog post…but we’re on schedule today!  My apologies…we only got back from the party around 4ish.

The alarm clock went off this morning and it’s the first time in a long time I’ve been tempted to head into the back room and pour myself a cup of java.

Speaking of coffee, yesterday Random offered to buy D & I a nice coffee as we started out trip back from The Big Smoke.  I left my coat in the car and went in as-is.  The girl behind the counter (who was pretty cute) told me she loved my tie, went on about how awesome it was.  It was a great opportunity to play up the fact that I don’t drink Starbucks often and never know what’s good so I can use the wide-eyed baby blues to get a little caffeine sympathy.

Gaynip:  I’d like…I think I want that peppermint-chocolate-mocha coffee drink.

Girl:  Do you want some whipped cream on top?

Gaynip:  No thank you…but…could I get the chocolate sprinkles still?

Girl:  Sure you can.  What size?

Then I just had to do it, I couldn’t resist giving her that patent Cheshire Cat grin.  It worked too, she grinned back at me and sort of flushed a bit.

Gaynip:  Whatever you guys call a medium will be just fine.

Random and I took off after that to check out the cover of FHM because the title made us laugh.  “Racy Stacey” was in a bikini and heels surrounded by banana peels.  Maybe it was some kind of condom/phallic thing going on.  At any rate, neither Random nor I was impressed with Miss Stacey.  The girl on the cover of Maxim however wasn’t hard to look at.  I think she was in Twilight or some such, so since I don’t like the movies I have no idea who she is.  I am so out of the loop without cable…not that I mind, really.  TV sucks.

Speaking of TV…it’s a novelty to me now to get a chance to be in charge of a clicker.  So, I turned the TV on in the hotel room on Sunday afternoon before D & I started to get ready for the party.  MTV has a series called “16 and Pregnant” (which is making way for the new show, “Teen Mom”).  The show made both of us angry…I mean, the show doesn’t glamorize teen pregnancy but the fact there was even a market (or that it’s had more than 1 season and a spin off) for this kind of trash is disgusting.  I know, I know, we watched it but it was like a trainwreck, you couldn’t look away.  I ended up crying for the smartest set of kids on the show who come from broken homes/families and knew that their daughter would have a better chance if given up for adoption.  The adoptive parents were so clean cut and nice looking, like a pair of Playskool people.  It’s got to be a hard thing to do to carry a child for 9 months, know you can’t give that child a good life and watch someone else go home with your child.

The thing that really set D off was one of the other couples.  The guy goes out and spents $500 on a Playstation 3 and Guitar Hero, leaving the couple with only $5 in the bank.  In a vain attempt to fix the problem with his girlfriend (who is understandably pissed) he goes to Wal*Mart to buy her a ring.  D is already ranting about wedding bands from Wal*Mart when they ring up the total.  The ring was on sale and the grand total with tax (if they have tax in that state) was $21.40.  D actually started yelling at the TV.  It was pretty funny.  Even as the commercials rolled on, the show picked back up with him proposing (“Ah, look at what he’s wearing…like a fat hobo”) she continued to hurl insults at the TV.

She forgot all about it yesterday, so I decided to be a little shit-disturber and say “$21.40…on sale.” to get her going again.  She ended her tirade by pointing at me and saying “I hate you so much.”  Ahahaha, loooove you!

So, I’m half expecting the 3rd degree from Leh about what happened on Sunday night after the party.  She got so wasted on wine she doesn’t remember anything, including how she got back to her room (D took her down and made she she fell asleep in the bed and not in the bathtub).  She questioned us at length yesterday and knows she said something she shouldn’t have but can’t figure out what that was.  I’m trying to decide what to say to her.

At least it wasn’t as bad as Sizzle and Coke Bottles.  We all sort of felt bad for CB because Sizzle was schmoozing around and acting for a good part of the night like they were just acquaintances and wanted nothing to do with her.  Sizzle was even dancing with one of the tech guys wife, trying to get all handsy.   I missed it but apparently she was motioning “no” to his advances on the dance floor until finally she walked away.  Defeated, Sizzle began to dance with Coke Bottles until the two of them were practically dry humping.  Gross.  It’s not even the PDA that bothers me but there’s a time and a place.  And if you’re this duo, that time and place is in some kind of lead lined bunker so humanity doesn’t go blind with the image.

Oh…so, I’ve decided that I’m joining the military and hoping to get in around June for basic training.  I’m going to enjoy myself this month and then it’ll be 6 months of training, working out, eating better and getting ready for the hardest thing I will ever do.  Maverick says my biggest challenge in basic will be to become the “Grey Man”.  I’ve got to blend in and do nothing to draw attention to myself.  I tried this on Saturday with gaming.  It is going to be SO hard.  Richard kept leaning over to say suggestive things in my ear, “Look at the size of that box.  Look, there’s a box on the table.  She’s got both hands in that box.” and so on.  I turned purple trying to hold in the comments and the laughter until I ended up squeezing out a few tears.  D tells me I’m boring and no fun when I’m the Grey Man.

Finally, for anyone wondering, my parents got back to me a day after our screaming phone call.  With an apology.  Via Facebook.  How personal and loving.  It read like a press release and didn’t sound like my Step Mom at all.  It didn’t acknowledge any of the serious topics I brought up and instead said she would try to be more interested in the good things in my life.  I’ve decided to refrain from speaking to either of them.  Friends both new and old say I seem less stressed out by not having them in my life.  So, that’s that.  I’m washing my hands of this whole mess.

Snow is on the way tomorrow.  20-30cm.  Wind.  Winter is here.  I have no boots.  I should probably do something about that.

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