I Dream of Rain…

Last night Leh picked me up on her way home from work so we could start working out.  We decided to do a bit with the Wii Fit.  Don’t mock the video game console.  Do not.  They weren’t fooling around with this thing.  They measure everything you’re doing and grade you on it.  They make you work all kinds of muscles.  They work on your balance.  Mine is terrible.  My abs hurt this morning.

Best game on Wii Fit is Soccer.  You’ve got to head butt the balls, shifting weight from one leg to the other in order to get them on the left, right, center.  To add to the game, sometimes cleats come off.  Sometimes it’s not a ball, sometimes it’s a panda head.  You get points for consecutive head butts, lose points for shoes and heads.  Awesome game.

Leh had me beat at every game except the hola hoop ones.  I rocked at the hoop and unlocked the super challenge.  I’m a hip swiveling demon.  If only I could parley this skill into dancing.  My abs hurt.

My biceps are killing me this morning from all the push-ups.  There is a great debate about them.  Leh says I’m doing them wrong.  Mav’ says I’m not doing them THAT poorly and that I’m not strong enough to do them 100% the right way, so I should keep doing them the way I can to build strength.  Something’s working.  I’ve noticed that my biceps are a little bigger in the last couple of weeks.  I want to do them right but I’m not strong enough.  My tummy “muscles” aren’t strong enough.

qLike says that if I want to lose weight I should do it the proper way.  Have lots of calorie burning sex.  Who am I to argue?  He is a doctor.  On the radio.  Or at least he’d like to be.

When I got home I was exhausted and sweaty but instead of jumping into the shower I started to work on Goal #27 “Learn to meditate or do yoga (something to calm me down)“.  I printed out a bunch of different meditation techniques.  The one I went with was bodyscan.  You lay down (or sit if you prefer) and relax, breath deeply.  Once you’re relaxed, you start focusing on your forehead (the skin there), the tingling, then move downward to the different parts of your body.  It was really strange.  I managed 15 minutes but my brain kept drifting to different thoughts.  I had to reel it back in.  There was a few minutes towards the end where my brain shut up and the spot between my eyebrows started to feel strange.  It tingled, pretty intensely.  Then I could feel the tingling in my shoulders, dancing along my collarbone.  Then Meeko jumped on the bed and stuck his wet nose on my temple.  Next time, door shut.

After that, I tried a little hypnosis.  I used to practice this a lot a few years ago when my last job was stressing me out.  Amazingly, my ‘happy place’ has changed.  My happy place is a lush forest.  More like the ones you find on the west coast with towering cedars, where the soil is rich and there’s that really intense smell of…?  I don’t know how to describe it.  It’s raining, there’s a creek.  I can see myself there, completely drenched but oddly warm.  I can feel the water trickling down my face, droplets gathering at the end of my nose.  I can feel the soil under my feet, between my toes.  The rain is hitting the canopy of leaves and I can hear thunder roll in the distance.

I guess it makes  sense that the happy place has changed since I’m not the same person I was 3 years ago by any stretch.  At first I kept trying to fight the new happy place.  I’m standing on the beach but behind me is the woods.  Instead of picturing myself laying in the sand, I picture myself walking up the beach and into the woods.  I’d think, “No!  No!  Wrong.”  I stopped fighting it and just went where the image took me.  I like it.  It’s peaceful.

I had a dream last night,  I can only remember fuzzy bits and pieces.  I’m with someone I know.  She is trying to get me to walk through a door.  Not in a forceful way, but like a gentle coaxing.  There are reassurances.  I can’t make out the words but I can hear the tone of her voice (soft, melodic, the way one might talk to a scared child or animal), her posture, the look on her face that’s what’s going on.  It’s raining but I can’t tell if it’s on my side of this archway or hers.

I woke up before anything else could happen.  It was almost 2am.  It took me a while to get back to sleep after that.

Did I mention my abs hurt?


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