Gaynip & Dutchess Shenanigans

I hate clothes shopping.  It’s a real blow to my rather fragile self-image ego.  I wish being smart was sexier than being thin.  I’d be a total babe.

D was on a roll with her zingers and one liners and had me in stitches for her entire visit.  We both agree that I am the “funny one” but that’s not to say that she isn’t funny either.  It’s just a different type of humour.  Before she left we had this little exchange (that still has me laughing this morning) where I’m not permitted to be a ‘dyke’.  I’m allowed to be as gay as I want to otherwise.  We laughed that if I ever cut it short that no matter where she was or what she was doing she would ‘feel’ it.  With every swoop of the clippers, with ever strand of hair hitting the floor she would be somewhere clutching her chest, gasping for air and whimpering “Something’s not right.”

G:  “Maybe I’ll just bleach it white”

D:  [gasping]

G:  “Oh and frost the tips neon green.”

D:  [Crying out]

G:  “How bout a mullet in the back?  The 80’s are cool again.”

[Ambulance siren]

D:  [From the hospital bed, tubes up her nose and all, shouting]  Your gayness literally hospitalized me!

It’s funny to think about.  The scary part is, I think if I ever cut my hair short again, she really would do something to me.  I’m not sure what, probably call A&E’s Intervention and have me sent away until I could be a little more hetero.  I’ll come home and want to do things like…be a Conservative, go to Church, have babies and keep down the gays.  It’s enough of a threat to grown my hair down to my toes.  Grow, dammit, grow!!

We didn’t get around to practicing the skit we wrote for my class at Practicum.  She was laughing as she read through it in the car, and I’m firm in my belief we need to practice it until it’s not funny anymore.  Until the jokes are dead.  We need to make her a fake beard out of yarn.  A really bad fake beard.  My favourite part of the whole skit is the apple.  I need to see if I can’t get back some of my drawing skills.  Some of the stuff we come up with is downright hilarious.  Plus, I bought those trading card style art cards I’d like to do one of Otto.

Yesterday also saw the successful introduction of a new term to our lexicon.  Ask me about it.  Suffice it to say, when I used the term, D laughed so hard we had to stop walking because she doubled over.  It goes well with one we already have.  D used it and then was telling Ulrik about it, his reply was “Let me guess, it’s something you and Gaynip came up with?”  “Yes!”  “Say no more.”

We have a reputation.  It, apparently, precedes us.


1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. cortejo
    Jan 28, 2010 @ 10:20:32

    Packing list for practicum:

    Straight jacket for D and/or gaynip
    other stuff


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