Cleanin’ Out the Storage Closet

I actually cleaned out the storage unit.  There was less stuff in there than I remember which means I must have either tossed some of it or given it away since then.  I spent a ridiculous amount of time oohing and aahing over my old baby clothes.  I was a cute lil’ thing and they dressed me appropriately it would seem.  It almost makes me want a baby.  But I remind myself I’m going to have an invisible baby one day and name him “Sleeping In ‘Til Noon”.

One of the more interesting things I found was my Weight and Measurement Report’s from Curves 3.5 years ago.  God I was fat.  I can’t find the very first one, when I weighed my heaviest but I found one after I lost 30lbs.  I’m now at least 20lbs lighter than the oldest sheet I can find.  I decided to measure all my spots like they do at the gym.  I’ve lost 5.5 inches on my bust, 5.5 on my waist, 7.5 on my abs (not surprising, even in the last 4-6 months I’ve noticed a change), 2 from the hips, 3 from the thigh and only 1 from the arms (a bit of a trouble spot).  Comparing it with the “newest” sheet I can find, the only body part that has gotten bigger is my arms by a quarter inch.

It would be interesting to see where my body fat is.  I remember Tara and I being in the grocery store one day, in the dairy isle.  She took out a bunch of bricks of butter and said, “This is how much body fat you’ve lost since you started.”  It was both amazing and disgusting.

Just got back from a walk.  I’ve clocked in almost 9k today, with the walk tonight and the walk to work and back earlier.  I was wearing my sweater and a sport tank top tonight, and got overheated the last 2km from home.  It wasn’t a populated area so I took my sweater off, feeling not so shy about baring so much skin and…well…boobage.  This old guy in a yellow car totally checked me out.  It was kind of awesome.  I mean, he wasn’t even subtle about it.  He leaned into the passenger seat to get a better look at me, a big grin on his face.  And when I turned to look back at him he was still looking at me in the rear view mirror.  [Preen]  I forget I can be attractive to men.

I have a really hard time with my body image 99% of the time.  I can’t figure out why people are attracted to me.  Anytime anyone hits on me, it is completely unexpected and leaves me a little flustered and very flattered.  It is still very hard to not correct Cortejo when she pays me a compliment.  It still makes me feel bashful, and that might not change.  I suppose this isn’t necessarily a bad thing.  Wouldn’t want to get a swelled head about it.

Today has been disconcerting.  I feel very out of sorts and out of touch.  I can’t shake this lead-like feeling.  Everything is heavy and pressing down.  I’m going to meditate tonight.  I wish I knew more about chakra’s and that kind of healing.  I must do so more research on the subject.

I think I’m going to go play with paper mache and try my hand at mask making.  Then time for a hot shower and some quiet time.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: