Oh Deary My…

The weekend is over and today was back to the grind of work.  I’m pleased to report that some changes will be made to my job in order to prep me for a transfer to the City when space becomes available.  I am counting down the days until my body can go back to it’s normal sleeping pattern.  My specialist and GP will be glad to hear it.  I’m hoping that once the stress washes away from me, (over getting up early, being constantly tired and such) my body might actually start to cooperate.  Sugars under control.  My heart inflammation might decrease.  My stress acne might clear up (oh please God, please!).

I had another rotten sugar crash this weekend.  Come to think of it, the last time I had a crash this bad it was the same sort of conditions.  Eating late.  Eating carbs.  Eating syrup.  Anxiety attack both times.  Exhaustion both times.  Difference being last time I got super dizzy and this time I had bad dreams.  I am learning what my body can and can’t handle and it is frustrating to play Russian Roulette with my food.  I had a brief but informative chat this morning with Lynch about sugar and food.  He had an interesting theory when I lamented that none of these things affected me before.  I’ve been cutting back on my sugars, and since I’m not riding high anymore, I’m noticing that they DO affect me.  The anxiety attacks I’ve been getting could be because the brain runs out of sugar and starts to run on adrenaline.

As for today’s food consumption, I tried a different tact with breakfast.  I had a piece of rye bread (that thin, moist stuff that’s super heavy) with almond butter.  I had an ounce of cheese and a big apple and a coffee with honey not sweetener.  I felt kind of gaggy about eating the bread and almond butter, I think because it was just so heavy.  The apple helped and gave my breakfast some sweetness which I didn’t realize I had missed.  Despite the sort of blah feeling about heaving something so heavy, I wasn’t hungry until 9ish and didn’t feel crashy at all this morning!  That’s got to be the first time in ages that I haven’t felt shaky around 8-8:30 and absolutely needed to eat.  Mind you, once 9am rolled around, I had 2 things of unsweetened applesauce (peach and blueberry).  I got home and forced myself to have some lunch (salmon) and felt great when I woke up at 2.  I had some juice around 2:30 (blueberry pomegranate that didn’t have any added sugars) and was okay until 6.  I’m very happy.

I’m googling recipes for what a protein heavy pancake might be…

1 c. cream style cottage cheese
4 eggs
1/2 c. flour
1/4 tsp. salt
1/4 c. oil
1/2 c. milk
1/2 tsp. vanilla

Whirl at high speed 1 minute. Bake on lightly greased griddle or waffle iron. Serves 3 as a main dish.

I’m not sure how that would taste.  What’s cream style cottage cheese?  Is that without the lumps?  I wonder if I could use a thick yogurt instead.  I wonder if I could skip the salt?  Maybe toss in some sesame seeds in or almond slivers?  I might have to make them and find out.

Loads of drama today that just had me crawling into bed.  I got home from work and crashed for about 3 hours before getting up again to runs some errands.  I found out that the familial drama had quadrupled from what had happened this morning.  It bore down on me and when I got home a few hours later I simply retreated back to bed and closed my eyes.  Alarmingly, I could go to bed now and sleep soundly, without any kind of assistance from melatonin.

On a happier note, I’m reading the Stephanie Plum books.  I got Cortejo hooked on the ones I had and now she’s motoring through those and has picked up other titles by Janet Evanovich.  I hope she likes “Motor Mouth” and “Metro Girl” which aren’t Plum books but I remember enjoying them none the less.  I should be off-setting my fun reading with smart reading.

Saturday and to an extent yesterday, it was time for A&S.  I’m working on making myself some garb but I’m not so confident without Ilanikhan to keep a watchful eye over me.  I’m actually just worried about the center gore I have left.  The rest of it, I think, seems fairly straightforward.  Someone told me that it was period to simply cut out the shape of a shirt (imagine how little kids draw t-shirts) and sew those two pieces together.  Viola!  Garb.  I’m starting to think that’s not the case.  If I don’t get it done in time, I will wear my robes this weekend.


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