No Regrets, Just Love

Have to say that taking anti-depressants might be the best thing I have ever decided to do.  Other than switching teams, of course.  I feel so fantastic these last few weeks that I’m kicking myself for having such an aversion to the help.  I mean, I’ve always believed that taking brain meds was a good thing for people who needed them.  If there’s something wrong with your thyroid, you take a pill.  If your legs are broken, you fix them.  If your ticker is weak, you get a pacemaker.  Why should the brain be any different than any other bodily organ?  Problem was, I felt this way about other people taking meds.  Not me.  If I knew it could be this good I’d have insisted years ago.

Today was a wonderful day.  I told Rachel last week to call me any ole time of the morning and not to worry about my sleeping.  I’ll sleep when I’m dead.  So she phoned me up this morning, her client canceled on her and she wanted breakfast.  We went out for breaky and had a good chat.  Popped over to the grocery store and got stuff to make some corn bread.  She had me grab a pack of smokes for Steve while she was paying for the groceries and I got IDed.  It was fantastic.  I don’t look old enough to legally by smokes.  Oh yeah.  Who’s young and hot?  Moi.

We made corn bread in the bread machine I gave her and then I came home to shower up and get ready for work.  I’m loving these boys boxers.  Tres comfy.  I think men have the market cornered when it comes to comfort and clothing.  Work was dull but then when isn’t it?  Rachel was going to come by with bread but she got caught up making pizza dough and told me to come by after work.  I watched her make some pizza.  Rosemary in the crust, topped with cheese and fresh basil.  We popped out for a drive so she could pick up a few things and a bottle of wine.  I played her Katy Perry’s new song “Teenage Dream”.  It reminds me of how I feel about my girl, at least partially.  I’m completely addicted to the track.

Getting back she let me make the second pizza.  It had extra garlic in the sauce.  Green onion, fresh mushrooms, hot peppers, sun dried tomatoes and olives.  Nummy!  I got to roll out the dough and everything.  I like when spending time with my friends means learning things.  Especially to cook.  I always make the same things for myself when I’m at home.  It’s nice to learn.  I’m not very brave when it comes to trying new recipes because I don’t like to waste food and often wonder if I’ll hate something.  At least if I’ve eaten it before, I’m likely to make it later at home.

We had a beer each and sat on the couch watching some tube before I booked it home.  Took the scenic route so I could  listen to my new music.  Clear my head a bit.

I’m doing these 30 day meme thing and tomorrow is going to be a touchy “in depth” description.  Today was talking about my first love.  I feel sort of like a loser sometimes that it took me 25 years to let myself fall in love with someone (today’s topic being ‘first love’).  It frustrates me to no end that I am the way that I am.  That said, if I had to do it all over again…if given the option to have my first love at 25 or at 15, I’d leave things as they are.  I realized that in the last few months I’ve really learned to love more openly.  Not just with Cortejo but with all of my friends and it doesn’t spook me to say it anymore.  I regret nothing.  I feel full of love for the people in my life who deserve it.

Not sure what I’ll do with the rest of my night.  I have a couple of movies I could watch or some episodes of Ashes to Ashes.  I have such a crush on Keeley Hawes.  Tomorrow morning I’ve got an appointment with the doctor about my meds.  Cortejo warned me that after 2 weeks comes this clarity but also leads people to commit suicide.  I don’t feel like that at all.  I mean, I have the clarity, but I’m happy.  I feel blissed out and zen like.  Even when I’m expressing negative emotions, they’re no where near the intensity I felt them at when I was un-medicated.

Another good day under my belt.  I didn’t get a chance to lift any weights.  Tomorrow before I shower.  Arms are starting to show.


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