Feeling Better

I’ve been feeling worlds better.  Charming, smart, funny and awesome to be around.  I haven’t been feeling that in a very long time.

The thing I loved best out of this whole weekend was when my girlfriend looked over at me, with this big smile and bright eyes and said, “Yay!  You’re funny again.  Welcome back, I’ve missed you!”

She told me in the car that if ever I think I can stop taking my meds, to remember they’re my “funny pills”.  Aptly named it would seem.  I was pretty darn funny last night and this morning in a way that hasn’t come naturally to me in quite some time.

When Cortejo and I were alone on Saturday morning, I asked her if I was different than the person she had started dating 9 months ago.  I feel different and like I’ve really overcome some stuff despite all that’s happened.

But what struck me was her answer wasn’t what I was expecting.  Not something about a change, but about how I seem like the person she started dating all those months ago.  I am truly thankful that she can be that honest with me, and tell me this stuff.

I can sit back and identify what I did wrong, and I managed (I think) to apologize (although nothing in my mind will convey how sorry I am).  I was a jerk.  Now, the circumstances were not in my favour, and it was just one thing after another until I just couldn’t cope anymore.  Doesn’t give me the right to act like a big Richard Cranium (get it?  Dick Head!  ha…well…I thought it was clever).

Lesson learned.  Almost the hard way.  Thank God I’m not too slow on the uptake.

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