Where Gaynip Pumps Some Iron

[Flex]  A few weeks ago I started lifting some “weight”.  I don’t say “weights” because sadly the bar was heavy enough for me to just do 60 reps/day without hurting myself.  Sounds lame but I didn’t want to hurt myself.

Surprisingly, it has started to pay off.  Sunday morning I had my knees up and my arms crossed and noticed my arms.  I’m not even talking about a little bulge and when you squeeze it the muscle gives way either!  You can squeeze them when I flex and they don’t move!!  Testing this theory I can push myself up and hold myself there longer than before.  I’m sure this is helped by the fact I play with my stomach muscles when I’m bored.

Tonight I got home, inspired by the new muscles and the desire to have a nice set of “guns” as it were.  I put two 10lb weights on the bar.  I managed to do 5 presses and 5 curls before my arms and brain were telling me this wasn’t going to  happen.  Off they came and on went two 5lb weights instead.  I managed 25 presses 20 curls, 10 lifts.  My arms are a bit wobbly.

When I took the garbage out tonight, I noticed the apple tree was dropping it’s fruit.  I threw 20 of them as hard as I could into the woods from where I found them for a bit of extra exercise.

Thursday/Friday I think I’ll bike to work since the humidex isn’t a factor.  22 degrees?  Yes please!  Perfect weather to bike to work in.

What’s really amusing is between the new haircut and the weight lifting, I noticed today I’m getting a bit of an attitude.  I catch myself thinking I’m good looking.  I swagger when I walk.  I smirk slyly.  When I was popping into the grocery store to get more coffee beans, I wasn’t even at the crosswalk (maybe 5 or 10 feet away) and this truck stops.  He had enough time that he could easily have gone without impeding me at the crosswalk.  Instead he waited, watched me.  I watched him back a little.  Gave him a smirk, he gave me a little wave.

I needed this.

Bring it on, Universe.  I’m ready.


101 in 1001 Progress Update

  1. Lose 30lbs and tone up. (I need to tone up still)
  2. Take up a sport (boxing, baseball, curling, soccer, hockey, etc)
  3. Donate blood x3.
  4. Take a vacation somewhere new.
  5. Take a photo everyday for a month.
  6. Finish the scrapbook.
  7. Play paintball.
  8. Learn to dance.
  9. Give up caffeine (liquid form) for an entire month.
  10. Get record player and expand music collection.
  11. Read 50 new books.  (In progress)
  12. Review 5 books on my blog.
  13. Pass basic/Join military. (Not going to happen…may change this one out)
  14. Write an article.
  15. Work towards finishing novel.
  16. Become more organized.  (Hahahaha)
  17. Get some bookshelves (and put them up in a timely fashion).
  18. Make a message in a bottle.
  19. Tell a lover/girlfriend “I love you” and mean it (and not freak out).
  20. Teach a class.
  21. Go a whole day without referencing anything (does not apply to situations required @ work).
  22. Explore Heron Island. (This probably won’t  happen since I don’t have a reason to go home)
  23. Draw a complete picture.
  24. Write my persona history.
  25. Double the money currently being deposited into the RRSP.
  26. Make 3 new lasting friendships.
  27. Learn to meditate or do yoga (something to calm me down).
  28. Learn to cook 3 things from scratch (meals/desserts/etc).
  29. Send a postcard to Post Secret.
  30. Dye my hair a funky colour.
  31. Pierce something.
  32. Make 5 completely impulsive, unnecessary purchases.
  33. Go a whole day without being purposefully humorous.
  34. Get a tattoo (Cheshire Cat, Phoenix, “Lucky No. 21” Sherriff’s Badge, Cabbage Patch Doll guy’s signature on my tushy).
  35. Make a list of 100 things that make me happy.
  36. Learn to read my Tarot cards without referencing my notes.
  37. Play chess once a month for 6 months.  (ilanikhan said she’d help with this one)
  38. Go a whole week without swearing.
  39. Get a passport.
  40. Get a professional massage.
  41. Have a ME day every 6 months.
  42. Watch 10 movies I normally wouldn’t.  (In progress…watched Lady Jayne with cortejo…terrible movie)
  43. Try 5 new alcoholic drinks.  (In progress…Baileys Coffee)
  44. Buy an antique.
  45. Surprise someone with a gift just because (no birthday/holiday/event required). (Gave Lydia my She-Ra DVD…I think that counts)
  46. Become an organ donor.
  47. Write a will.
  48. Learn to play the drums.
  49. Answer the “50 Questions That Will Free Your Mind”.
  50. Try to make “German Pancakes”.
  51. Go horseback riding.
  52. Go snowshoeing.
  53. Blow bubbles in public.
  54. Get a blank period book for SCA persona.
  55. Learn sign language.
  56. Make Christmas cards from scratch and MAIL them to friends.
  57. Buy lingerie (or equivalent) and wear it (and feel sexy, dammit!).
  58. Listen to 10 new albums/records all the way through. (In Progress…)
  59. Learn 10 new dirty jokes.
  60. Kiss in the rain.
  61. Kiss in the snow.
  62. Play Vampire: The Masquerade.  (In Progress)
  63. Do something that scares the hell out of me.
  64. Pick a motto/statement/creed.
  65. Bring someone home to meet my parents.  (Not going to happen)
  66. Learn about a religion/spiritual view I am unfamiliar with.  (In progress)
  67. Learn to rollerblade.
  68. Donate $100 to charity.
  69. Tell everyone I love that I do love them, and why I love them.
  70. Offer to take Killian for a week. (Won’t happen)
  71. Start a snowball fight.
  72. Go to fighter practice (SCA).
  73. Write a poem.
  74. Join a gym and go at least 3x/week.
  75. Buy a colouring book and finish it.
  76. Send 10 postcards.
  77. Leave someone a rose, just because.
  78. Watch sunrise/sunset on the beach in the same day.
  79. Give up fast food for 1 month.
  80. Keep my desk clutter free for a week.
  81. Write a blog entry with my favourite lyrics.
  82. Write a blog entry with my favourite quotes.
  83. Get complete outfit for SCA persona.
  84. Pick up a hobby and stick with it (for once).  (In progress)
  85. Fly a kite.
  86. Do 5 video blogs.
  87. Create the lexicon of SJ & Melissa. (Not going to happen)
  88. Make garb for Pfeffernüsse. (2/1/2010)
  89. Buy a Christmas present for one of those angel tree children x3 (2010/2011)
  90. Go to a con.
  91. Try 10 different kinds of tea.  (In progress)
  92. Host a ______ night once every 6 months (at least) with friends.  Can be a different theme each time or can remain the same.  (IE poker night, board games, movies, gaming, etc)
  93. Have sex with a guy.
  94. Don’t get pregnant. (In progress!)
  95. Visit 5 museums/attractions/cultural events. (In progress…the water park was #1)
  96. Write a short story.
  97. Try tanning.
  98. Give up something difficult for Lent (even though I’m not Catholic).
  99. Spend an entire day having sex. (Sigh)
  100. Recommend one thing to someone they would actually like 25 times.  (In progress…my favourite was #1…good times)
  101. Listen to 500 songs I’ve never heard before.  (In Progress)

Wish I May, Wish I Might…

I wish that my mom didn’t leave me when I was 4 years old.

I wish that my dad didn’t leave me with my grandparents when I was 4 because he couldn’t find my mom and couldn’t take care of us himself.

I wish that when they found her they didn’t send us back.

I wish that my mom didn’t ship me off to live with dad when I was 6.

I wish that when I was 6 and Dad had never hired that nanny who ignored me for a month, sent me to school with a can opener and zoodles.

I wish I didn’t get shipped back with Mom and spend the next few years getting abused at the hands of a guy with a drinking problem.

I wish that when people in that house got angry they didn’t beat their kids or break their toys or break the furniture.

I wish that I didn’t know what the inside of a cop car looks like.

I wish that when my parents were angry with me for being bad, they’d never have said things like “We don’t love you” or “I hate you right now” or “I can’t even look at you without feeling sick”.

I wish that my Mom didn’t ship me off to live with my Dad when I was 9 because “that’s what I wanted” but really because she was overwhelmed having 3 kids and I was the one who clung to her the least.

I wish that I could have spent my teen years being myself.

I wish that when my parents got angry with me, they’d tell me instead of putting on the cone of silence for days or weeks on end until I’d have to beg them to tell me.

I wish that when they’d ask me why I was doing what I was doing, they’d hear me out when I explained my feelings.

I wish they hadn’t rendered me incapable of stating “I’m feel…” without being afraid someone will yell at me for feeling that way.

I wish that wasn’t a knee-jerk reaction.

I wish I could trust people not to just leave because I’m going through a tough time.

I wish I felt like it was okay to be weak or human.

I wish that when I eat things I don’t hear “Are you sure you want to eat that?  Okay.  Your thighs.”

I wish I could trust people enough to know that not all of them are going to be assholes to me just because my parents were/are.

I wish I didn’t build walls.

I wish I didn’t push people away before they can hurt me.

I wish I could be happy go lucky all the time like people want.

I wish I could fall apart when I need to.

I wish I could get angry and express it.

I wish I could take all my bad feelings and keep them in a place that wouldn’t touch anyone else.

I wish that I knew more about the world.

I wish I hadn’t held myself back so often.

I wish that I didn’t get a case of brain weasels when I spend too much time all by myself.

I wish standing here and looking at this pit of depression that is in front of me I knew what to do to not slide into it.

I wish that I had the strength to deal with this again without having to cave in to meds or therapy.

I wish I was a strong person.

I wish I was brave.

I wish I could explain these things to people.

I wish that wishes came true.

Best. Video. Ever.

She makes several excellent and humorous points.

Eye Candy Friday: Sabrina Lloyd

Admittedly I don’t really know much about Miss. Lloyd (including whether or not she’s a Miss or a Mrs) but this one is going out to Ilanikhan (who’s been watching the very sexist “Sliders“).  Sabrina has been seen in “Sliders“, “Numb3rs“, “Sports Night” and numerous other shows.

Sez Ilani, on the character Wade, “Too bad the show’s writers/etc were too sexist to show her off.”

Where Gaynip Has Nightmares About Zombies

This hardly seems fair since it was Clinker who watched the zombie movie last night not me.  I watched “Up” (cute movie – Kevin is adorable) so if anything I should have dreamed of zeppelins, balloons, talking dogs or squirrels.

My dream starts with the the really nice company SUV parked outside what looks to be a duplex, driveway on the right hand side.  All the doors are open and the back window is gone.  Beside it is a shopping cart (empty) and the GPS has been stolen.  I am panicky because I can’t find Ilanikhan and I need to find her before the zombies do.  I don’t remember how I found her, but eventually I find her.  Oddly, she’s stockpiling guns.  That was great because I remember in my dream being very upset that I wouldn’t know where to find a gun (maybe a cop shop) and cursing myself for never getting around to reading the survival guide.  I even had it on audio book for the love of Mike!

Anyway, she’s packin’ heat like  Lara Croft or Mr.T or something.  Guns abound.  I don’t know where she got them.  I didn’t ask.  I insisted on stopping at a moto-cross bike shop because (I don’t know if this is strictly true in dream) some of the outfits have padding/armor built into it.  So I was all gussed up in this neon green outfit, goggles and couldn’t figure out what to do about my head.  One part of me wanted to have a helmet to protect my brain and the other part of me was worried it would block out sound.  I think I opted for no helmet.

We eventually meet up with everybody else.  Truckin’ along, nothing is really happening.  We keep stopping to loot places.  We looted a Tim Horton’s and a Starbucks.  I don’t have to tell you who’s idea THAT was.  Because the back window of the Tribute was out, I stole a Toyota from a dealership instead, where the back window of the SUV was power, like all the others.  Very awesome if you’re sitting in the back with a gun picking off zombies.

Naturally, because it was the zombie apocalypse, there was a zombie fight.  Details are sketchy at best, but we won, and I got bitten.  Now, instead of being the cowardly asshole who gets infected and keeps it to himself, I pick up a sword (don’t ask) and tell everyone I’ve been infected (wrist area) and that I’m going to kill myself.  I am about to plunge down on said sword (a medieval one – I’m reading “Fools and Jesters at the English Court” and there’s an illumination of guy doing himself in on a sword…while a jester pokes him with a bladder stick … ANYWAY).  Only no one wants me to do that.  Instead they all get into this argument about what to do to save me.

There is a long shouting match about cutting off my arm to stop the spread of infection.  I point out, at the top of my lungs, “That never happens in the zombie movies!  Besides, you idiots, none of you are doctors.  I’ll bleed to death instead!”  There’s more fighting about cauterizing the wound so I won’t.

Cortejo doesn’t want to kill me.  She’s pretty upset about it.  Ilani says, “She’ll eat your face first if she changes!” and I think that’s rather comical in dream (and out) because it’s true.  Finally, they come to the conclusion that I do need to die, but compromise with something humane.  The vet’s office.  They tie me up, just in case I change fast.  Put me on the “operating table” and tie me down.  I’m not crying but I’m a little pissed off at how completely undignified and cowardly this all is.  Somebody in the group knows about vet stuff, and they inject me with the ‘blue goo’.  It’s a slow process, kind of like going to sleep.  Someone is stroking my hair and saying things to me.  Then blackness.

I woke up in a start.  Blankets and pillows everywhere.  I scared the shit out of the cat.  I was all sweaty and confused.  But the fog lifted and I’m not a zombie.

This is a comment to all of my friends:  If I do the responsible thing and TELL you when I get bitten after a zombie fight don’t stand around hemming and hawing like a bunch of indecisive old hens!!  Pick up the nearest gun and blow my infected brains out!  Don’t stand around debating whether or not sawing off my infected arm will prevent the change.  If that was possible, the movies already would have thought of it.  None of you are doctors (okay actually I know like 2 but they live on the East Coast so that excludes them from this) I will still die, probably of massive blood loss.  Furthermore, won’t you feel stupid when you wake up to me eating one of our mutual friends faces?  Unless you never really liked that guy, in which case you’re probably secretly happy but also secretly worried you won’t be able to hide your elation from the group.  In any case, you’ll have to shoot me then, and get brains all over your newly stolen sleeping bag.

Do the right thing!  Friends don’t let friends become zombies!

It All Comes Back to Frogurt

One of my all time favourite quotes is from The Simpsons (I know, you’re shocked) specifically Treehouse of Horror III.  I can recite it perfectly without checking and I can honestly say that while I have seen the episode a bunch of times since 1992, they are spaced so far apart it can’t be from repetition alone that I can recall it.

Shopkeep:  Take this object but beware it carries a terrible curse!

Homer:  Ooh, that’s bad.

Shopkeep:  But it comes with a free frogurt!

Homer:  That’s good.

Shopkeep:  The frogurt is also cursed.

Homer:  That’s bad.

Shopkeep:  But you get your choice of toppings!

Homer:  That’s good!

Shopkeep:  The toppings contain potassium benzoate.

Homer:  [Blank look]

Shopkeep:  …That’s bad.

Homer:  Can I go now?

Red, The Welshman and I have all noticed that pretty much everything we do or say can come back to this quote.  We have decided this is both awesome and somewhat sad.  But it really fits well with anything.

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