Just One More Sleep!

Gaynip '07

Today is Christmas Eve.  It’s also the birthday of my wee brother, Andreas.

I was 8 years old when he came into the world, decided that Christmas Eve around 4am is when he was going to time his entry.  I remember my Step Dad shaking me gently…

SD:  Psss…wake up!

Gaynip:  Mmmmrrrr.

SD:  Psss…wake up, Gaynip.

Gaynip:  <Sleepily rolls over and blinks a few times> Hmm?  What is it?

SD:  Your brother is coming.  It’s time to get up.

Gaynip:  <Squints in the dark> What…time is it?

SD:  4am.

Gaynip:  Mmmmmrrrr…put him back in.

He was born a few hours later, after hours and hours of waiting for him to arrive.  My Step Dad came home and I’m not sure if it was because he couldn’t cook, or if he was tired, or because he wanted to wait for Big Sue, but we had Eggo’s for supper.  He taped us unwrapping our gifts that year, and I still remember a lot of the stuff we got (like Beauty & The Beast wrist watches with Belle on them).  My Dad had sent my sister Elspeth a doll that wore a crown and lit up.  It played a song, and the crown cast pictures on the wall (in the dark) as you fell asleep.

SD:  What was the best present you got this year?

Elspeth:  THIS!  <Holds up the box with the doll>

Gaynip:  No, stupid.  The BABY!

Elspeth:  …Oh yeah.  The baby.  …And this doll.

I am very excited about Christmas plans with my friends this year.  I spent a lot of time at D’s house as a teenager.  Her parents were much cooler than mine.  Well, not so much cool as they didn’t really care what we were doing so long as it was all legal.  Her Dad was always playing hockey or golf, and her Mom was always out playing bingo.  This left a lot of time to watch movies my parents wouldn’t let us even THINK about renting.  Or eating junk.  Or staying up til 5am.  Or sleeping until 11.  Or watching Jerry Springer.  Good times.

Andreas’ Step Mom (who was friends with Big Sue/Step Dad…and married Step Dad years later) is insisting that I come visit for a bit.  I’m a little weary about this.  I haven’t set eyes on Step Dad or Andreas in almost 10 years.  Hell, maybe it’s been 10 years.  Entirely possible.

I want to wish everyone a Happy Holidays, whatever you celebrate.  Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Solstice, Decemberween, Yuletide or (and this is a new one) Hogswatch.  Have a blast with your family, friends, fur-babies, The Captain, your “roommate” …just no drinking and driving, kapeesh?

…And for inquiring minds, there will be an Eye Candy Friday blog tomorrow morning if all goes according to plan.  Enjoy!

Happy Solstice from a Dirty Heathen!

HAPPY WINTER SOLSTICE!

Today is the first day of winter, starting at 12:47pm EST.  It’s also going to be the shortest day of the year.  I bet you didn’t know this, but Jesus wasn’t born on Christmas Day.  He was actually born in August or September and the Church “moved” Christmas to coincide with Winter Solstice to convert Pagans.  They even let the Pagans “keep” their gift giving tradition because, hey, the Wisemen gave the baby Jesus presents too.  What a baby needs with Frankincense is beyond me, but I guess when you’re God’s son, it’s extravagance from day 1.

Yesterday, I had to explain to a kid who Jesus was.  I think I did okay.  She’s six so it’s hard to put into childlike terms who Jesus is.

Holy cow I was tired last night.  I had a shower, then vegged on the “couch” only to become so cold I couldn’t warm up.  I had a bath, read some of my new book (fantasy for the win) and went to bed.  I didn’t even hear the phone ring when Nick’s Momma called.  It was good to hear her voice (thick with her Nova Scotian accent) on the answering machine.  It makes me homesick for the Maritimes.

I am missing my Facebook buddy, qLike this morning.  He’s manage to beg, borrow, steal time off…won’t be back to work til the 29th.  I’m glad though, he’s been running himself ragged with work, H1N1 and his little person doing nothing but crying and screaming since he came into this world a few months ago.  The doctors diagnosed him with something (I forget what) which q and SuzieQ have been saying from the start (only to be dismissed by the doctors).

Today starts the holidays for Office Mom who won’t be around this week.  Sad.  I love when she comes in and tells me I’m crazy, makes faces at me in the window while I’m on the air, or gives me my own patented finger waggle about something.  I think the finger-waggle shouldn’t be used against me…sadly I do a lot of things to induce the waggle.  A lot.  A LOT.

I have figured out my sleeping “problem”.  Cortejo is willing to help me out with it.  I have such wonderful taste in friends.  So accommodating.

I have to re-record my Christmas liner for head office.  Apparently, I’m a bit of a buzz-kill with mine.  No one wants to be reminded to “drink responsibly” and “please don’t drink and drive”.  Frack.

Coffee/breakfast with The Rachel this morning, hopefully.  Afterward, it’s home I go to talk to Shane and see how the big date went.

A few things in the news today:

A woman was impaled on a steel fence for 47 minutes while waiting for an ambulance.  The 34-year-old received no pain relief while her body was supported by volunteer emergency services workers during the ordeal in Yarrawonga, Australia.  The ambulance was contacted at 9:42 p.m. Tuesday.  Ambulance personnel were told that Kim Broadbent had been impaled through the groin in a fall.  A crew didn’t arrive until 10:29 p.m.  There was no paramedic available in the border town that night, and sources said a graduate officer was refused permission to attend.  A crew was sent from Wangaratta, which is 34 miles away, but wasn’t cleared to travel over the speed limit or with lights and sirens.  By then, Broadbent had spent more than 47 minutes seriously injured, lapsing in and out of consciousness.  She didn’t arrive at a hospital until about three hours after the first call.  The woman’s now in stable condition.

Impaled.  47 minutes.  IN THE GROIN.  <Shudder> That poor woman.  I’d be suing.  Especially if she loses the use of her lady bits.

Who would post a tweet not even an hour after losing her son in a tragic accident? It’s a question being asked — and answered — in the online community after a Florida mom went on Twitter to ask for prayers after her two-year-old son drowned in a swimming pool at her home. Shellie Ross is the mom in question. The drowning took place a week ago and the boy, Bryson, died at a hospital less than an hour after paramedics responded. Ross has more than five-thousand followers on her Twitter account. While some Twitter users and bloggers have criticized Ross for her postings so soon after her son’s death, some of her Twitter followers have defended her. But Ross herself isn’t talking about the matter. She asks on her blog that the media leave her alone — and her Twitter account says she has “protected her tweets.”

You know who does that?  A soul-less monster who clearly has an addiction problem as well.  My God, is she going to Tweet live from the kids funeral too?  If I had a kid, and it died, the last thing I’d be thinking about is my Twitter status.  Hell, I’d probably be unable to get out of bed, eat or stop crying.  That’s normal.  That’s what you’re supposed to do.  Or at least have the decency to get dressed, pick at your food and walk around like a robot.  Also normal.

Some people need to get hit by a bus.  Tweet that.

Damn you, Trinity!

Ahhhh I finally got to watch the season finale of Dexter.  AHHH.  That can’t happen.  What is he going to do now?  I knew it.  I knew it.  I totally called that.  DAMMIT!  I’m going to miss that character.  BAH.   I hate the Trinity Killer.  Hate.  Him.  But love John Lithgow.

Side note:  I have a total crush on Deb this season.  Far less annoying and much stronger.  Plus, she’s still swears like a sailor in such creative ways…she’s so cute.

Debra Morgan

I got a rare treat of talking to Dutchess this morning before 7am!

I had her order my SCA favours for me from E-Bay.  I’m very excited to give my talk at Practicum.  Leh says her Dad has a projector I can use to teach my class with.  Excellent.  I know how at least one of those slides are going to go.  I am plotting and researching.  I was a bit worried about filling a whole hour with information but I think I will add a little entertainment value into the whole thing.

I’ve been giving some thought about my persona.  I need to work on a back story about why she’s a scholar in such matters.  Maybe I’ll have her fiance mauled by werewolves or bitten by a vampire.  I’ve already got his name all picked out (because that’s half the fun) “Wilhelm Faust”.  Oooh, since her father was the judge, maybe he was the executioner.  Yes, that will do nicely.  Once he was killed and “returned to life” she could have been sent south to Nürnberg.  Yes…I’ll have to work on that.

Totally off my game this morning.  I attribute this to being out all day yesterday with Leh (and Red for a bit) in the city, doing some shopping.  I’ve picked up Christmas gifts for Dutchess, Office Mom (and Random), Ers, Chantal, Bingo Bear, Bob…I need to get something for Maverick and Leh.  Leh wants German beer.  Done.  We’re laughing at the gift we got for Office Mom…long PJ shirt and the present for Random is that we didn’t get the pants!  Ha.  He’s always complaining about her flannels, so at least maybe he’ll find less to whine about.

The other reason I think I’m so tired is because I forgot my MP3 player in the truck last night, so I had to walk to work in abject silence.  15 minutes where the only sounds were the steady beat of my feet on the pavement, the swish of my jacket and my swearing.  -19 with the wind is easier to swallow with something to take your mind off of it.

Busy day ahead of me…

• Christmas Pageant with Office Mom & Chantal.  (Their daughters go to the same school and both are excited to have me there.  I’m excited.)
• Coffee or lunch with The Rachel.
• Pick up Leh’s beer and a gift for Maverick.
• Groceries.
• Pickup gift bags.  I wrap a nice gift, but with cats in the house it makes it harder to do.
• Nap.  (Wishful thinking)
• House chores.

Mulholland Drive Me Crazy

I think WordPress is by far the best journal platform/software available online.  One of the features I like about it in comparison to say, LiveJournal (besides that it’s less emo), is the stats.  Not only can I see how many hits my blog is getting on a daily basis, but each day can be accessed to see where those hits are coming from.  I can see how people are searching for things and make their way to this blog if they type in say “SCA”.

So, why am I talking about this?  Someone has been searching for me.  Pretty specifically too.  Using not my moniker of “Gaynip” but my full SCA persona name.  It’s terribly interesting because most people can’t pronounce my SCA name and I’m constantly having to break it down, so for someone to spell it out is amazing.  “Adelhayt…Addle-Hide.  You know, like the hide of an animal.”  Dutchess said she cracked up at Hare numerous times as she could hear me trying wearily to explain it.  It’s weird to say and even stranger to spell (that’s old German for you).

<Waving> Hello, whoever you are, seeking me out via my persona name.  Willkommen.

Last night, I decided to watch one of the movies that Office Mom lent me.  Her sister works for Warner Canada, so she’s got stacks of DVDs (some aren’t even open!) for me to borrow.  As we were standing there picking them out “Mulholland Drive” jumped out at me.  I don’t even know where to start with this one.  Every few minutes heard me cry out, “What the <expletive> is going on?”.  It was all over the map, totally tough to follow and the acting was sub-par.  In retrospect, the acting of the blonde, “Betty” might have been bad on purpose given the outcome of the film and who “Betty” turns out to be.  Still, this movie is incredibly messed up and not even the girl-on-girl action (didn’t even know that was in this movie) could make up for it.  Speaking of that…this is how unaware I was caught.

Rita knocks on Betty’s door in the middle of the night swaddled in a towel.  Betty feels bad for making Rita sleep on the couch, and invites her to sleep in the big bed.

Gaynip’s inner monologue:  On the couch in a towel no less.  Sheesh.

Rita climbs in next to Betty and sheds the towel.  There is much upper-frontal-nudity.

G.i.M:  What the…nice!  Who sleeps nude with their friends like that?

Rita leans up, revealing more upper-frontal-nudity and kisses Betty on the forehead.

G.i.M:  Okay!  Seriously, it’s one thing to kiss your friend…another thing entirely to have your boobs in…

Rita and Betty start making out which lead to that whole “I’ve never done this before” sex that looks like both of them have done that before.

G.i.M:  This still doesn’t make the last 1 hour and 40 minutes worth it!

It was around that time that I checked the remaining time and was horrified to find I was just beyond halfway through the film.  I had sort of pieced it together but to satisfy my curiosity, I needed to Google it and have someone explain it to me.  I get it, I do.  That having been said, it was still a crappy use of 2.5 hours.  I know what you’re wondering, probably the same thing as Cortejo, “Why didn’t you just shut it off?” but I can’t do that!  I have to finish a movie, I have to know what happens.  The only time I’ve actually walked away from a movie was “Be Cool“.  I got up and cleaned my house, I was so bored.

Work this morning is fairly quiet.  We played some Boney M Christmas songs so I dedicated them to Dutchess and her Mom, Bingo Bear.

Gaynip:  Hey, does your Mom still have that Boney M Christmas tape?

D:  What?  Boney M Christmas tape?

Gaynip:  Yeah, when we were growing up your Mom used to crank up the Boney M.  Drove you nuts.

D:  …<Picks up the phone and leaves her Mom a voice message asking about the tape>

What’s really funny is that Bingo Bear called D back a few days later and said she had lost the tape and bought the CD.  Then asked D if she wanted a copy.  D asks me why I can remember these things…I think it’s because it just strikes me as funny.  It was Boney M and Hanson.  Terrible, terrible.

Damn You, Mother Nature

GAH!  I had half this post finished and Firefox ate it.  This is why I use Google Chrome at home.  Let’s try that again, shall we?

Yesterday, I got a “Shut your pie hole” from Cortejo yesterday for mentioning our impending (and now underway) snow storm.  I actually laughed so hard that Dan had to come in and find out what was so damn funny.  East Coast sayings just slay me.  She’s living on a tropical island called Denial and I took a visit yesterday (dreaming the snow would pass us by in some pre-Christmas miracle) but eventually had to come back to Reality and buy some winter boots.  They’re butch-lite this year instead of my butchy bitch boots from last winter.  They’re actually for guys but frankly ladies boots aren’t really practical (4 inch heel?!) and even if you get the more outdoorsy ones, they aren’t as insulated as well.

Sad to leave this little island of Denial but considering I practically lived there for 24 years it’s probably good to get away.  I left the key under the mat, help yourself.

I’m trying to decide whether or not I want to put up the Christmas Tree today with the rest of the decorations.  It’s a lot of work for one person, especially for a few weeks of twinkling lights and yelling at the cats to leave the decorations alone.  I must sound absolutely insane to my neighbors.  I will dig out the Christmas hat though.  Gotta love that hat.

Speaking of cats, this:  The Cat Carol.  You will undoubtedly cry, unless you are Dutchess.  Then you will look at me and say something like, “Are you crying?  Is your period soon?  Jesus!”

Yesterday, I was researching the undead for an SCA project and while poking around a Medieval Bestiary I found this gem:

Bonnacon

That’s authentic illumination, too.  It’s a Bonnacon, some kind of bison type creature that supposedly poops while it runs away (up to 3 furlongs) and it burns like fire.

Not much going on today, as most of the office will be “working from home” which means watching Jerry Springer in their PJ’s and playing on Facebook.  I’m so jealous.

Thanks a Lot Kirstie Alley, Thanks a Lot.

Had to babysit yesterday.  I think that was more effective than if Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the uterus right out of me.  Honestly, kids today.  I never acted like that, knowing their were serious repercussions if I had to be told more than once to “stop that”.  It also makes me think that aside from the very obvious reasons that I shouldn’t reproduce, I would be a very strict parent.  I find that interesting because I’m such a big kid at heart.  Go figure.

My hair is blue-black again and so is the bottom of the tub.  I guess I know what I’ll be doing tonight.  My life is so glam.  I think maybe tonight I’ll watch some Christmas specials on the computer and maybe dig out the Christmas decorations for tomorrow.  December 1st or the first weekend in December is my rule.  I’d put them up this weekend but I’ve got Dungeons and Dragons on Saturday with The Pack and the staff party in Toronto Sunday.  I’m looking forward to going and bringing D with me.  She is excited too and says she’s going to “out date” the guy from last year.  Not exactly hard to do.  I told her “You won’t fall asleep, check out other girls and while we still won’t have sex I won’t wake up disappointed Monday morning.”  Not to mention, I won’t start to question my sexuality on the drive home either.  Hahaha, oh memories.

I’m in the City today.  Nervous.  Excited.  I’m going to say something really lame.  The probability of this is about the same as the probability that Kirstie Alley is still fat.  …Let me just check her Twitter.  …Yep.  High probability I will say something lame.  Thanks a lot, Kirstie Alley.  The one time I need you to be thin, you’re probably already on your way to Denny’s for a breakfast burrito and a tall glass of syrup and fudge.